All Episodes

#99- Riggins 9th Birthday

Riggins would have turned 9 today which is hard to believe. I still hear his sweet voice and cute laugh when he was 5 about to turn 6. I love and miss you so much Riggins. Happy 9th Birthday.

July 25, 2021 - Keshia, Faith, Ran

I have my sister in law Keshia, niece Faith and nephew Ran on to talk about what July 25, 2021 was for each of us and what we were doing when we got the news. Talking about Trauma is hard. There is so much my family has not talked about still. The more you talk, the easier it becomes to find the right words. It takes effort, just like anything else in life. I'm so proud of my family in this episode. 3 years later it still hurts the same, maybe worse. The more time goes on the more I havent seen them. That is really difficult to accept. What I have learned so far is how much I really loved Kortni, Riggins, Franki, Race and Rider. Death has shown me that. I have learned that the gratitude, the joy, the love, the growth to be had from this horror is located in the same place as the pain. I ran from the pain for so long but that was also causing me to run away from Kortni and Riggins and Franki and Race and Rider. It still hurts, really bad. Continuing to talk about them and how I feel on the inside as allowed me to also find gratitude and love along with the pain now. I didnt have that at the beginning. Kortni, Riggins, Franki, Race, Rider. We love you and miss you so much. I never thought this would be our life and journey together. But it is, so what are we going to do about it?

Kortni Sawyer

"I remember when I turned 33" I am 6 months older than Kortni and so every time she had a birthday I would say "I remember when I turned..." I think she laughed hard the first time I did it and then rolled here eyes for the next 15 years when I did it haha. Where I am currently at in my grief journey is having the idea that Kortni and Riggins and Franki are somewhere. I am not sure what form or shape that is in but they are somewhere together and it is a struggle for them. Just like it is a struggle for Blue and I and the rest of our family. Kortni always found a way to help people and have a positive influence in the worst of circumstances. Even though Kortni is dealing with grief too I know she would be handling it well with a combo of grace and fury. She keeps me going, she gets me out of bed. She has always been a great leader and role model to me. I got to have some Kortni's friends on. (sorry to all the freinds we didnt have on haha kort would have felt bad) Thank you to her friends Shelbi and Madi who went to middle school with Kortni and played high school basketball with her. We had Kort's friend Aria on too who worked as a nurse with Kortni. My absolute favorite thing is hearing stories about Kortni, especially ones I have never heard of before. So thank you to Shelbi, Madi and Aria I felt Kortni's spirit so strongly talking to all of you at the same time. HAPPY BIRTHDAY KORTNI! LOVE YOU FOREVER.

Conner Furu

Got to talk with Conner Furu and what he has been through in his life. We both talked a lot about how sports has played a pivotal role in our lives. It was fun to relate with someone like him in that way.  Conner is a man of his word and you get a sense of his integridy and accountability in this episode I think. One of my favorite quotes from him says; "The inferno of our grief is fueled by our refusal to acknowledge it, and extinguished by our attempts to undertand it." Grief at times does feel like an inferno and I think Conner is right. If you refuse to talk about it then it only feeds it and makes it bigger. Only by talking about it can you actually extinguish it. Thanks for showing up and being on our show Conner

Franki's 5th Birthday/ Kortni and my 11th Anniversary

June 29th is Franki's Birthday. I miss you so much Frank, can't believe you would be 5! June 29th is also Kortni and my 11th anniversary. I wrote you guys a letter and wanted to read it on here so we would always have it. I love and miss you both so much.

Episode 24: Questions

Sam and Mason answer questions sent in by listeners. -when did sam realize he was different? -what are the benefits of sams dwarfism -the most powerful thing mason was told after the accident -Does Blue talk about his mom, siblings, uncle and cousin -Ex girlfriends -and more

Episode 23: Ride in Paradise

Brad Behle sits down with Sam and Mason to discuss his book "Ride in Paradise." The book tells the story of Brad's brother Jason and his battle with prescription drugs which ended up taking his life. Brad is a great example of making something great happen out of something so terrible. If you battle with opioid addiction please talk to someone.

Episode 22 (Puss n Boots)

Sam and Mason talk about the new Puss in Boots movie that fits in well with the 10ninety message. This episode is dedicated to Dan Hesketh and his family. Dan lost his wife Elizabeth (44) Son Ashton (11) Daughter Kylie (10) in a terrible accident in British Columbia on March 11, 2022. Our thoughts and prayers are with you. One day at a time.

Episode 21

Sam and Mason talk about New Year resolutions after having a heavy episode with Tim and Becky Graff. The conversation steered more to God, what heaven is like, and what Jesus is like and of course, movies. Sam and Mason appreciate the fact that they can agree to disagree and still be great friends. "life is 10% what happens to you and 90% what your going to do about it"

Episode 20 (part 2)

"Life is 10 percent what happens to you and 90 percent how you respond to it." -Charles Swindoll Thank you Tim and Becky Graff.

Episode 20 (part 1)

Sam and Mason talk with Becky and Tim Graff, who lost their two daughters. McKinzley, "Kinzley" (age 7) and Elexia, "Ellie" (age 3) in a flash flood. Becky wrote a powerful book: "Swept Away" focusing on grief and acceptance. We appreciate Tim and Becky for being vulnerable and brave enough to talk about such a difficult thing.

Episode 19 The Raft

Sam and Mason discuss The Parable of the Raft which they heard from Noah Rashetta's podcast: Secular Buddhism. Some of us think holding on makes us strong; but sometimes it is letting go" -Hermann Hesse

Episode 18

Sam and Mason sit down with Porter Larsen who shares his powerful story of when he lost his brother Racer in a skydiving accident and then 10 years later loses his Dad to a brain aneursym.

Episode: 17

Sam and Mason answer questions sent in by listeners out of their peaky blinders hat. Topics include: dating, sam overcoming discrimination, Kortni's favorite quote, who will win the nba finals, tattoos, disabilites, types of therapy and more.

Episode 16

Cristie North sits down with Sam Josie and Mason Sawyer to discuss the tragic loss of her son Taylor who took his own life on January 6, 2017. Cristie shares some powerful words of wisdom in this episode focused on mental health and suicide prevention. Cristie has started her own podcast: Pieces of a Women as well as starting the Taylor Hagen Foundation which focuses on suicide prevention. Crisite is a great example of taking something so terrible and trying to make something great out of it.

Episode 11

Mason and Sam visit with Alec McMorris as he shares his inspirational story of survival and rehab after being hit by a pickup truck in Parley’s Canyon.  This episode is sponsored by McMorris Deck’s and Structures.  Call 801-834-8098 for a free estimate.

Episode 12

Mason and Sam visit with Carrie McKee as she shares her challenging story of surviving breast cancer and a traumatic divorce.  Her strength and attitude will inspire.  This episode is sponsored by Joel Carter.  Check out his amazing artwork @jocahta.art Thanks for the support!

Episode 13

Happy Halloween! Sam and Mason answer questions sent in by listeners. Questions ranging from religion, pizza, sams dwarfism and more. Thank you for all our supporters it has meant so much to us.

Episode 14

Sam and Mason discuss the childrens book; "The Empty Pot" and how it ties into the 10ninety message.

Episode 15

Sam and Mason talk to Mitch Whetman as he discusses the tragedy of his sister taking her own life when she was sixteen years old. Suicide is a big issue especially in Utah. Talking about it more is something we believe may help and bring awareness to such a sad issue. We were impressed with Mitch and his willingness to discuss difficult issues that hit so close to him and his family. Whitney Whetman had a family life that was full of love, care, peace, support, and friendly competition. She loved all sports and activites but basketball was her true love. She was proud to be a member of the WJHS Lady Jags basketball team where she had many sisters and inspired a strong camaraderie. Her big smile and fun personality will always be missed.

Episode 16

Cristie North sits down with Sam Josie and Mason Sawyer to discuss the tragic loss of her son Taylor who took his own life on January 6, 2017. Cristie shares some powerful words of wisdom in this episode focused on mental health and suicide prevention. Cristie has started her own podcast: Pieces of a Women as well as starting the Taylor Hagen Foundation which focuses on suicide prevention. Crisite is a great example of taking something so terrible and trying to make something great out of it.

Episode: 17

Sam and Mason answer questions sent in by listeners out of their peaky blinders hat. Topics include: dating, sam overcoming discrimination, Kortni's favorite quote, who will win the nba finals, tattoos, disabilites, types of therapy and more.

Episode 18

Sam and Mason sit down with Porter Larsen who shares his powerful story of when he lost his brother Racer in a skydiving accident and then 10 years later loses his Dad to a brain aneursym.

Episode 19 The Raft

Sam and Mason discuss The Parable of the Raft which they heard from Noah Rashetta's podcast: Secular Buddhism. Some of us think holding on makes us strong; but sometimes it is letting go" -Hermann Hesse

Episode 20 (part 2)

"Life is 10 percent what happens to you and 90 percent how you respond to it." -Charles Swindoll Thank you Tim and Becky Graff.

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Episode 19 The Raft

Sam and Mason discuss The Parable of the Raft which they heard from Noah Rashetta's podcast: Secular Buddhism. Some of us think holding on makes us strong; but sometimes it is letting go" -Hermann Hesse

No items found.
No items found.