Riggins would have turned 9 today which is hard to believe. I still hear his sweet voice and cute laugh when he was 5 about to turn 6. I love and miss you so much Riggins. Happy 9th Birthday.
#99- Riggins 9th Birthday
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Riggins would have turned 9 today which is hard to believe. I still hear his sweet voice and cute laugh when he was 5 about to turn 6. I love and miss you so much Riggins. Happy 9th Birthday.
I have my sister in law Keshia, niece Faith and nephew Ran on to talk about what July 25, 2021 was for each of us and what we were doing when we got the news. Talking about Trauma is hard. There is so much my family has not talked about still. The more you talk, the easier it becomes to find the right words. It takes effort, just like anything else in life. I'm so proud of my family in this episode. 3 years later it still hurts the same, maybe worse. The more time goes on the more I havent seen them. That is really difficult to accept. What I have learned so far is how much I really loved Kortni, Riggins, Franki, Race and Rider. Death has shown me that. I have learned that the gratitude, the joy, the love, the growth to be had from this horror is located in the same place as the pain. I ran from the pain for so long but that was also causing me to run away from Kortni and Riggins and Franki and Race and Rider. It still hurts, really bad. Continuing to talk about them and how I feel on the inside as allowed me to also find gratitude and love along with the pain now. I didnt have that at the beginning. Kortni, Riggins, Franki, Race, Rider. We love you and miss you so much. I never thought this would be our life and journey together. But it is, so what are we going to do about it?
"I remember when I turned 33" I am 6 months older than Kortni and so every time she had a birthday I would say "I remember when I turned..." I think she laughed hard the first time I did it and then rolled here eyes for the next 15 years when I did it haha. Where I am currently at in my grief journey is having the idea that Kortni and Riggins and Franki are somewhere. I am not sure what form or shape that is in but they are somewhere together and it is a struggle for them. Just like it is a struggle for Blue and I and the rest of our family. Kortni always found a way to help people and have a positive influence in the worst of circumstances. Even though Kortni is dealing with grief too I know she would be handling it well with a combo of grace and fury. She keeps me going, she gets me out of bed. She has always been a great leader and role model to me. I got to have some Kortni's friends on. (sorry to all the freinds we didnt have on haha kort would have felt bad) Thank you to her friends Shelbi and Madi who went to middle school with Kortni and played high school basketball with her. We had Kort's friend Aria on too who worked as a nurse with Kortni. My absolute favorite thing is hearing stories about Kortni, especially ones I have never heard of before. So thank you to Shelbi, Madi and Aria I felt Kortni's spirit so strongly talking to all of you at the same time. HAPPY BIRTHDAY KORTNI! LOVE YOU FOREVER.
Got to talk with Conner Furu and what he has been through in his life. We both talked a lot about how sports has played a pivotal role in our lives. It was fun to relate with someone like him in that way. Conner is a man of his word and you get a sense of his integridy and accountability in this episode I think. One of my favorite quotes from him says; "The inferno of our grief is fueled by our refusal to acknowledge it, and extinguished by our attempts to undertand it." Grief at times does feel like an inferno and I think Conner is right. If you refuse to talk about it then it only feeds it and makes it bigger. Only by talking about it can you actually extinguish it. Thanks for showing up and being on our show Conner
June 29th is Franki's Birthday. I miss you so much Frank, can't believe you would be 5! June 29th is also Kortni and my 11th anniversary. I wrote you guys a letter and wanted to read it on here so we would always have it. I love and miss you both so much.
Craig Lithgow told me about this movie called "Finding Joe" which is based off of the life and teachings of Joseph Campbell and what he calls the hero's journey. So we watched the movie together when we were in Australia and I loved it. One of my favorite parts of the movie was the first scene. It was about this golden budah. Thought I would share some of the thoughts I had about it.
On this episode we talk with Christian Sandoval. Christian is a retired veteran serving in the United States Army and ended his career as a Master Sergeant. He has a Masters degree in Human Performance and a Masters in organizational leadership. He is the owner and operator of TAT (total athlete performance). TAT helps athletes improve their speed, agility, strength, conditioning, and nutrition. On this episode we talk with Christian about facing the coward in all of us, leadership, the transfer portal for athletes, stoicism, the importance of intention, and building resilience in the body and mind.
On this episode of the 10 Ninety Podcast we talk with Logan and Ciara Raban about their son Duke. At 7 months Duke was diagnosed with a rare form of brain cancer called ATRT. Logan and Ciara walk us through the days leading up to the diagnosis, their time with Duke at Primary Children's hospital, and the moments just before Duke's passing on June 29th, 2021. Logan and Ciara share with us how they have processed the passing of their son differently and how they have maintained love and understanding for each other through their grief. Almost immediately after Duke's passing they found out Ciara was pregnant with Brooks. Brooks is now 18 months old. Logan and Ciara are an example of "clear eyes, full hearts, can't lose." They are wonderful parents and we know that Duke and Brooks are proud to call them Mom and Dad. #DukeStrong
Craig Lost his wife and two kids in a car accident in Australia in 1996. Craig reached out to me after seeing one of our 10/90 clips. Craig and I have become great friends and it means a lot for me to have someone to lean on that understands my pain and grief as well as he does. I feel like Craig is the older, Australian version of me haha. No matter what type of hell you are going through, if you handle it well, you will be able to help someone else who will go through that same hell. Thank you Craig for handling your pain and grief the way you have to help others and me 27 years later. Love you man. So I flew to Australia spent the week with Craig and did some amazing healing. One of the things we did was record this podcast. Hope you enjoy.
Levi Lieske spent the majority of his youth in jail and prison. He has a powerful story of overcoming many obstacles, at the center of his story is gratitude. Something that i have struggled with since the car accident. His message of being grateful in the toughest of times was very inspiring to me. Thank you Levi! "Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% what your going to do about it.
Sam and Mason discuss Tony Robbins 6 Human Needs. Certainty uncertainty/variety Significance Connection/Love Growth Contribution
"Well well well...how the turn tables" The 10ninety podcast thanks Jimmy Rex by having him on for an episode where Jimmy and Mason talk about all sorts of different stuff. Thank you Jimmy Rex, you have opened many doorways for the 10ninety rule. "Jimmy doesn't like misunderstandings"
Happy Birthday Riggins, would have turned 8 today. I love and miss you more than words can describe. Trying to live with clear eyes and a full heart without you buddy. I love you and miss you always. Clear Eyes The ability to see what needs to be done, an understanding of what the problem or challenge is. In the sports world it is knowing your assignment, what you have to do and understanding what your teammates are doing while reading the changing situation that plays out in front of you. The ability to not get distracted by less important things. Like another player's trash talk or a mistake made on a previous play. The ability to not be thwarted by what we think we know to be true, diminishing the ability to take in new information so we can better see what is in front of us. Full Heart Strong and sustained effort. Picking yourself up and moving forward when you get knocked down. The attitude that life is 10% what happens to you and 90% what you do about it. Being all in and committed. Loyal to those you share the challenge with. Keeping the balance between one for all and all for one. It is the grit that when you are losing you at least slow the process down so there is less ground to make up when coming back. It is having pride in what you do. It is respecting the effort and talents of others even when they might be our competitor. Cant Lose It is valuing effort even when we fall short of our hopes and expectations. We might lose the game, lose the girl, not get the promotion, be dissapointed in the end result. Recognize that clear eyes and a full heart breed success in many ways perhaps not visible to the connections with others that you might not realize until long after the experience, or perhaps never at least in this life. It improves our ability to win the next game and if we do not win the effort improves who we are. -Steve Sawyer
The anniversary is just kind of another day for me. It hurts the same and feels the same whether it's 730 days or 731 days. I do want to honor the day itself in some way though. We started the 10ninety podcast on July 25, 2022. The one year anniversary of the car accident that took the lives of my wife Kortni, Son Riggins, Daughter Franki, Brother Race and Nephew Rider on July 25, 2021. The accident also claimed the lives of other people and families. What a terrible lonely day. So... What am I going to do about it? What is anyone who had any affiliation with that accident going to do about it? What are you going to do about your demons and terrible lonely days? Because it happened, it's done, you can't change it. Do we look for pity, special treatment, and wonder why me, poor me? Do we become bitter and hate the world and the people in it? Do we run away from accountablity and avoid future circumstances that might lead us to suffering and pain again? Or do we battle on? Appreciating what pain and death and obstacles can teach us? With the mindset that you can take my wife, you can take my son, you can take my daughter, you can take my brother, you can take my nephew but you won't take away my fighting spirit to carry on and the love I have for each of them. You can't take away my desire to be virtuous for virtuous sake and instead of hating it, what if I loved it? Thank you to Sam and Ryan for joining the 10ninety family. Thanks to all of our sponsors, listeners, and true believers of the 10ninety rule. I love you Kortni I love you Riggins I love you Franki I love you Race I love you Rider Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% what you're going to do about it.
The Office: season 3 episode 4 is about Michael Scotts old boss Ed Truck dying and no one seems to care. Michael trys holding a grief counceling meeting and then the office holds a funeral for a dead bird. Sam and I breakdown this episode and try to use it as a refrence point to talk about the strange and unpredictable monster that grief is. We apologize if your not a fan of The Office.
Sam and Mason talk with Becky and Tim Graff, who lost their two daughters. McKinzley, "Kinzley" (age 7) and Elexia, "Ellie" (age 3) in a flash flood. Becky wrote a powerful book: "Swept Away" focusing on grief and acceptance. We appreciate Tim and Becky for being vulnerable and brave enough to talk about such a difficult thing.
Sam and Mason talk about New Year resolutions after having a heavy episode with Tim and Becky Graff. The conversation steered more to God, what heaven is like, and what Jesus is like and of course, movies. Sam and Mason appreciate the fact that they can agree to disagree and still be great friends. "life is 10% what happens to you and 90% what your going to do about it"
Sam and Mason talk about the new Puss in Boots movie that fits in well with the 10ninety message. This episode is dedicated to Dan Hesketh and his family. Dan lost his wife Elizabeth (44) Son Ashton (11) Daughter Kylie (10) in a terrible accident in British Columbia on March 11, 2022. Our thoughts and prayers are with you. One day at a time.
Brad Behle sits down with Sam and Mason to discuss his book "Ride in Paradise." The book tells the story of Brad's brother Jason and his battle with prescription drugs which ended up taking his life. Brad is a great example of making something great happen out of something so terrible. If you battle with opioid addiction please talk to someone.
Sam and Mason answer questions sent in by listeners. -when did sam realize he was different? -what are the benefits of sams dwarfism -the most powerful thing mason was told after the accident -Does Blue talk about his mom, siblings, uncle and cousin -Ex girlfriends -and more
Sam and Mason talk about how life is more simple than we sometimes make it. Waiting for something shiny and new isn't what's stopping you from enjoying life. Honor your life by being grateful for what you have right now.
Sam and Mason sit down with Brandon Vega, the author of Ghetto Conscious and creator of the EATN project. Brandon shares his incredible story of growing up in a tough neighborhood (to say the least) in Florida and how he was able to break the narrative and find success through his E.A.T.N. philosiphy.
Zach Josie has a rare form of dwarfism and is currently training for another Ironman. Zach is a great example of facing obstacles, accepting his circumstances, and moving forward despite that physical competition is harder for him. His drive is inspirational!
I invited my sister shannon, brother sage, sister carlie, and sis in law keshia (Races Wife) to my house on January 17th to celebreate races birthday. I told them I want to sit around and talk about race. I said I want to record it and upload it to the 10nintey podcast so hopefully 200 years from now races great great great grandkids can know how cool he was listening to some of these stories. The accident is fresh on our mind and the conversation was hard. I love my family so incredibly much. I am so blessed to have the parents and siblings that i do. Race I miss you so much bro. Grief over Race has been much different than grief over Rider and Kortni and Riggins and Franki. I wish i talked to my brother more. i wish he knew how much i looked up to him and how much i loved him. im not sure why i didnt talk to him as much as i wished i did when he was still alive. this is not a usual 10/90 podcast. no sam, no sponsor, not really a 10/90 message just my siblings talking about race. the podcast is similar to a journal for me, so im happy to post this today. the quality of the audio isnt great. there was 5 of us spread out across two mircrophones. ryan garner is mad at me that I didnt use his special microphones. sorry my grammer sucks. LIVE WILD!
Sam and Mason answer questions sent in. Thank you for all the questions and support we get. Into the storm we go!
Sam and Mason discuss The Parable of the Raft which they heard from Noah Rashetta's podcast: Secular Buddhism. Some of us think holding on makes us strong; but sometimes it is letting go" -Hermann Hesse