Riggins would have turned 9 today which is hard to believe. I still hear his sweet voice and cute laugh when he was 5 about to turn 6. I love and miss you so much Riggins. Happy 9th Birthday.
#99- Riggins 9th Birthday
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Riggins would have turned 9 today which is hard to believe. I still hear his sweet voice and cute laugh when he was 5 about to turn 6. I love and miss you so much Riggins. Happy 9th Birthday.
I have my sister in law Keshia, niece Faith and nephew Ran on to talk about what July 25, 2021 was for each of us and what we were doing when we got the news. Talking about Trauma is hard. There is so much my family has not talked about still. The more you talk, the easier it becomes to find the right words. It takes effort, just like anything else in life. I'm so proud of my family in this episode. 3 years later it still hurts the same, maybe worse. The more time goes on the more I havent seen them. That is really difficult to accept. What I have learned so far is how much I really loved Kortni, Riggins, Franki, Race and Rider. Death has shown me that. I have learned that the gratitude, the joy, the love, the growth to be had from this horror is located in the same place as the pain. I ran from the pain for so long but that was also causing me to run away from Kortni and Riggins and Franki and Race and Rider. It still hurts, really bad. Continuing to talk about them and how I feel on the inside as allowed me to also find gratitude and love along with the pain now. I didnt have that at the beginning. Kortni, Riggins, Franki, Race, Rider. We love you and miss you so much. I never thought this would be our life and journey together. But it is, so what are we going to do about it?
"I remember when I turned 33" I am 6 months older than Kortni and so every time she had a birthday I would say "I remember when I turned..." I think she laughed hard the first time I did it and then rolled here eyes for the next 15 years when I did it haha. Where I am currently at in my grief journey is having the idea that Kortni and Riggins and Franki are somewhere. I am not sure what form or shape that is in but they are somewhere together and it is a struggle for them. Just like it is a struggle for Blue and I and the rest of our family. Kortni always found a way to help people and have a positive influence in the worst of circumstances. Even though Kortni is dealing with grief too I know she would be handling it well with a combo of grace and fury. She keeps me going, she gets me out of bed. She has always been a great leader and role model to me. I got to have some Kortni's friends on. (sorry to all the freinds we didnt have on haha kort would have felt bad) Thank you to her friends Shelbi and Madi who went to middle school with Kortni and played high school basketball with her. We had Kort's friend Aria on too who worked as a nurse with Kortni. My absolute favorite thing is hearing stories about Kortni, especially ones I have never heard of before. So thank you to Shelbi, Madi and Aria I felt Kortni's spirit so strongly talking to all of you at the same time. HAPPY BIRTHDAY KORTNI! LOVE YOU FOREVER.
Got to talk with Conner Furu and what he has been through in his life. We both talked a lot about how sports has played a pivotal role in our lives. It was fun to relate with someone like him in that way. Conner is a man of his word and you get a sense of his integridy and accountability in this episode I think. One of my favorite quotes from him says; "The inferno of our grief is fueled by our refusal to acknowledge it, and extinguished by our attempts to undertand it." Grief at times does feel like an inferno and I think Conner is right. If you refuse to talk about it then it only feeds it and makes it bigger. Only by talking about it can you actually extinguish it. Thanks for showing up and being on our show Conner
June 29th is Franki's Birthday. I miss you so much Frank, can't believe you would be 5! June 29th is also Kortni and my 11th anniversary. I wrote you guys a letter and wanted to read it on here so we would always have it. I love and miss you both so much.
On this episode of The 10 Ninety Podcast we talk with Kelly Jewel. 14 years ago Kelly lost her husband Clint to Leukemia. Mason and Kelly talk about the importance of talking about your grief throughout your life because the grief will be with you forever. Mason and Kelly talk about the battle you have with hope as you're going through trauma. Kelly talks about how the grief of Clint's passing has been on her mind more as her kids get older. Kelly talks about the moments before Clint's passing, hyper fixating on small moments, and how opening up about her pain helps her carry it better.
On this episode of the 10 Ninety Podcast we interview Kimberly Howard. On June 28th, 2013 Kimberly lost her son Keaton to a boating accident at Lake Powell. Mason and Kimberly talk about how there's no way to prepare for grief. They talk about the importance of feeling all of the emotions that come with trauma, life's synchronicities, and understanding that every person grieves differently.
On this episode of the 10 Ninety podcast we interview Brie Ocea. On July 4, 2022 Brie lost her son Romeo to a drowning accident. Brie shares with us details about the day of the accident and her experience dealing with grief. Mason and Brie talk about the difficulties of sharing their stories to help others while also dealing with the criticism and the perception other people may have of them. They talk about the difficulties of losing a child so young because others will never know them like they did. They talk about the unfairness of them being unable to experience all that this life has to offer.
On this episode of The 10 Ninety podcast we interview Kuri Bolger. On March 5th 2022 Kuri and her family were involved in an F4 tornado in Winterset Iowa. Kuri, her son Brysen, her brother, and her stepfather were the only survivors. Kuri lost her husband Mike Bolger, her daughter Kinlee, her son Owen, and her mother Melissa Bazley. In this episode Mason and Kuri talk about the difficulties of grieving multiple people at the same time. They also talk about how the best way to honor the loved ones they have lost is to live a life they would be proud of. They talk about how sharing their grief with others has given them strength and helps them feel closer to the loved ones they have lost.
On this episode of The 10 Ninety Podcast Mason and Ryan talk about things that probably should be left to qualified professionals. We talk about top 10 states that struggle with suicide and depression and discuss whether there's a difference between grief and clinical depression. If you're hurting. Please talk to someone.
my therapist joins me again on the show to talk about ANXIETY. Why it's good and how it can be bad. I always enjoy having Matt on. I think he knows his stuff but I see him more as a buddy than a "therapist". Brindy (Matt's Wife) also joined us as well and talked a lot about breath work and breath therapy. Thanks guys, always love having you on Matt. Thanks for all you do for me.
Founder and CEO of the mental health franchise, Zion Healing inc. Robert went from being on top of the world in his 30's as a young millionaire after his company went public. Alcohol and other things took Robert from the top to the bottom, when he was homeless for two years on the streets of Salt Lake City. After nearly dying, Robert found his way back to the top and has found success in helping other people heal and battle their own addictions. Thanks Robert, you're the man.
Not sure how many people have experienced what Matt has. The pian he experiences is both improbable and cruel I think. How Matt endures it, is truly inspiring. Loved hearing his persepctive and what his 90% looks like. Thanks Matt! I admire your courage and ability to find a little beauty in a lot of ugly.
On this episode of The 10 Ninety Podcast we talk about Nathan from Australia. Throughout Nathan's life he has dealt with abandonment from parents, introduction to drugs and alcohol at an early age, and using anger to cope with his trauma. Nathan sought help from doctors and was not seeing improvements from the prescribed medication. After a number of different traumas that Nathan faced he eventually met Craig Lithgow. Craig opened up his heart to Nathan and this was the beginning of improvement for Nathan. Nathan's story is a reminder of the importance of human connection. Like Nathan we all seek connection through different ways. We talk about how genuine connection with people who care for you and show you love is some of the best medicine available.
On this episode of the 10 Ninety podcast we interview Parker Lee. We talk with Parker about the chaos you can invite into your life through people pleasing. How to balance the principle of we>me while living a life authentic to yourself. We talk about the importance of not comparing your pain to others.
Levi Lieske spent the majority of his youth in jail and prison. He has a powerful story of overcoming many obstacles, at the center of his story is gratitude. Something that i have struggled with since the car accident. His message of being grateful in the toughest of times was very inspiring to me. Thank you Levi! "Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% what your going to do about it.
Craig Lost his wife and two kids in a car accident in Australia in 1996. Craig reached out to me after seeing one of our 10/90 clips. Craig and I have become great friends and it means a lot for me to have someone to lean on that understands my pain and grief as well as he does. I feel like Craig is the older, Australian version of me haha. No matter what type of hell you are going through, if you handle it well, you will be able to help someone else who will go through that same hell. Thank you Craig for handling your pain and grief the way you have to help others and me 27 years later. Love you man. So I flew to Australia spent the week with Craig and did some amazing healing. One of the things we did was record this podcast. Hope you enjoy.
On this episode of the 10 Ninety Podcast we talk with Logan and Ciara Raban about their son Duke. At 7 months Duke was diagnosed with a rare form of brain cancer called ATRT. Logan and Ciara walk us through the days leading up to the diagnosis, their time with Duke at Primary Children's hospital, and the moments just before Duke's passing on June 29th, 2021. Logan and Ciara share with us how they have processed the passing of their son differently and how they have maintained love and understanding for each other through their grief. Almost immediately after Duke's passing they found out Ciara was pregnant with Brooks. Brooks is now 18 months old. Logan and Ciara are an example of "clear eyes, full hearts, can't lose." They are wonderful parents and we know that Duke and Brooks are proud to call them Mom and Dad. #DukeStrong
On this episode we talk with Christian Sandoval. Christian is a retired veteran serving in the United States Army and ended his career as a Master Sergeant. He has a Masters degree in Human Performance and a Masters in organizational leadership. He is the owner and operator of TAT (total athlete performance). TAT helps athletes improve their speed, agility, strength, conditioning, and nutrition. On this episode we talk with Christian about facing the coward in all of us, leadership, the transfer portal for athletes, stoicism, the importance of intention, and building resilience in the body and mind.
Craig Lithgow told me about this movie called "Finding Joe" which is based off of the life and teachings of Joseph Campbell and what he calls the hero's journey. So we watched the movie together when we were in Australia and I loved it. One of my favorite parts of the movie was the first scene. It was about this golden budah. Thought I would share some of the thoughts I had about it.
On this episode of the 10 Ninety podcast we interview Parker Lee. We talk with Parker about the chaos you can invite into your life through people pleasing. How to balance the principle of we>me while living a life authentic to yourself. We talk about the importance of not comparing your pain to others.
On this episode of The 10 Ninety Podcast we talk about Nathan from Australia. Throughout Nathan's life he has dealt with abandonment from parents, introduction to drugs and alcohol at an early age, and using anger to cope with his trauma. Nathan sought help from doctors and was not seeing improvements from the prescribed medication. After a number of different traumas that Nathan faced he eventually met Craig Lithgow. Craig opened up his heart to Nathan and this was the beginning of improvement for Nathan. Nathan's story is a reminder of the importance of human connection. Like Nathan we all seek connection through different ways. We talk about how genuine connection with people who care for you and show you love is some of the best medicine available.
Not sure how many people have experienced what Matt has. The pian he experiences is both improbable and cruel I think. How Matt endures it, is truly inspiring. Loved hearing his persepctive and what his 90% looks like. Thanks Matt! I admire your courage and ability to find a little beauty in a lot of ugly.
Founder and CEO of the mental health franchise, Zion Healing inc. Robert went from being on top of the world in his 30's as a young millionaire after his company went public. Alcohol and other things took Robert from the top to the bottom, when he was homeless for two years on the streets of Salt Lake City. After nearly dying, Robert found his way back to the top and has found success in helping other people heal and battle their own addictions. Thanks Robert, you're the man.
my therapist joins me again on the show to talk about ANXIETY. Why it's good and how it can be bad. I always enjoy having Matt on. I think he knows his stuff but I see him more as a buddy than a "therapist". Brindy (Matt's Wife) also joined us as well and talked a lot about breath work and breath therapy. Thanks guys, always love having you on Matt. Thanks for all you do for me.
Sam and Mason discuss The Parable of the Raft which they heard from Noah Rashetta's podcast: Secular Buddhism. Some of us think holding on makes us strong; but sometimes it is letting go" -Hermann Hesse